"Hey."
"Hey. You seem to spending a lot of time around here."
"If I could, I'd spend all of my time by this tree."
"So, I guess you selected Spec Fire and Nature?" Lethe sat down beside Solciro, unzipping her jacket just as she had been doing rather frequently for the past week or so.
"Yeah. Once again, you have my thanks. And you picked?"
"No problem. I selected Dream-weaving and Spec Compulsions. I did a little research and figured that I wouldn't have the patience for Charms."
"Oh."
They sat there side by side wordlessly, enjoying the cool breeze and each others' presence. Solciro broke the silence first.
"Lethe, you know my sister, right?"
"Lune? What about her?"
"She's been spending a lot of time with that Ca- with Acheron recently. I'm worried about her."
"Why?"
"I've heard all sorts of stories about Cains and all that and I worry that my sister will get hurt in her innocence."
"Acheron isn't that bad. We're rather close friends and all and I wouldn't put much stock in the old stories if I were you."
"Okay, if you say so... But my heart still isn't at rest." He sighed. "I'm thinking too much, aren't I?"
"I suppose your concern is warranted. All I can say is that I promise that if Acherus starts to show any tendencies, I'll tell you. But only if the tendencies may affect Lune." Please don't notice that I said Acherus instead of Acheron. Lethe thought to herself.
"Thank you so much." His warm, brown eyes looked towards hers in gratitude. He shifted slightly closer to her.
"Lethe, why do you always wear gloves?"
"I just don't want people to touch me."
"Oh."
"Do me a favor, will you? Just don't touch me either. I don't want anyone, not even my friends to touch me. As long as the contact isn't on my skin, I don't care. Just don't touch me. No offense, really. I've got reasons."
"Uh... Okay, sure, whatever you say. If you're not comfortable with it."
Lethe almost exhaled in relief. Damn right I'm uncomfortable with it.
"Umm, have you been crying?"
"What? No, why would I?"
"Your eyes are really red. I'm surprised I didn't notice earlier. Looks as if you've been crying."
"Wait. By red, you mean the whites, right? The irises are still green and purple?"
"Of course." He looked at her curiously. "So if you haven't been crying, what, you've got an eye infection? I think you ought to go and see the matron."
"Odd. It doesn't hurt at all."
"Seriously? It looks inflamed. Looks serious to me."
"I feel perfectly fine as before. Weird." Except for these aching pains around my eyes. "You're right, I should go see the matron before it gets worse or something."
"I'll go with you."
"No need to trouble you. I can make it there myself."
"I'll go with you." And his voice brooked no argument.
The matron usually wears gloves, I guess I'll be fine. Just hope that she doesn't accidentally touch me.
What happened, Lethe?
Kestrel? I'm not exactly sure. Solciro said my eyes are red and look as if they've been inflamed. He thinks I've got some kinda eye infection but I'm not feeling any pain, you know?
But you're feeling as usual?
Well... Kestrel could sense her hesitation. Lethe was getting used to this, filling thoughts with emotions and pictures rather than with tone and inflection.
Well what?
I never told you guys.
Told us what? Styx's distinct mental voice cut in.
Recently, I don't know why, the area around my eye's been hurting. It's like a headache, but around the eyes. And... I've been dreaming.
Of the same thing? That guy with the mouths for eyes?
Yeah. But each dream is different.
How so?
We talk. It's hard to describe it. It's like every night we have a conversation, at the ending of the dream, he says something like how he's sorry but he has to end it that way and he lunges and the eye mouth things almost reach my eyes and bite them. I wake up every morning with stinging there. But the next night he continues the conversation.
That's weird, to say the least. What do you two talk about? Cocytus asked.
I'll keep that to myself if it pleases you. Lethe stated, rather sharply, they thought.
"Lethe. Lethe?"
She shook herself out of her reverie and found herself already outside the medical bay. Solciro gave her a small smile.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
"Nothing. Just daydreaming."
"Well, let's go in then," he said, holding the door, "Ladies first."
"Quite the gentleman, aren't you?" Lethe chuckled and went in.
The matron squinted at Lethe. "You've been here before quite recently, haven't you. I recognise you. You're one of the friends of that guy with his veins in all the wrong places. Why're you here now? Och, I see, your eyes look like you went and got them drenched in flaming acid."
"Umm no ma'am? And it doesn't hurt, I don't know why."
She lifted up Lethe's head and examined her eyes with a flashlight.
"You say it doesn't hurt. Looks very bad to me, but I can't seem to find anything wrong with it. Any allergies or some such?"
"No ma'am. It just suddenly turned red."
"Well, if more symptoms come up, come back and find me. Until then, you get to go back and scare your friends with no side effects. But if it starts feeling bad, be sure to come back here." The matron turned to Solciro. "You hear that, boyfriend? Take care of your sweet lady and bring her up here if she starts complaining of pain, got that? And I don't mean if you two do it a little rough."
Blushing slightly, he managed a small nod. "Yes ma'am, I'll be sure to pay attention to her."
"Then go and enjoy your youth. I'm too old, tired and busy to be talking with you kids about love and all." The matron chased them out and went back to the rest of her patients.
In the corridor, Lethe nudged him with her elbow. "Pretend to be my boyfriend again and I'll break your leg."
"Got that, 'sweet lady', I'll try not to pretend next time. Hopefully, I won't have to." They gazed into each others' eyes and wordlessly reached an understanding. They drew closer and their lips inched towards each other. Bit by bit, holding the moment, savoring it and giving in to it. But just before they touched, Lethe pulled back abruptly.
"No, no, I cannot do this. I cannot..." She muttered to herself distraughtly.
"What? Lethe, what's wrong?" Solciro's voice was full of confusion and tenderness.
"I must not. I... am truly sorry, Solciro. I wish I could."
"Why? Is it that you are unprepared? Moral values? Religion?"
"No, no, no, none of that. It's just... I can't explain. Not to you."
"I will listen. I will try to understand, I promise."
Her heart ached with the longing, the yearning to have someone to believe, someone she truly liked, someone who was normal. But, what if he didn't? What if he treated her as a freak? She just didn't know.
"I... Not here. Not now. I'll tell you at a different time. Solciro, I'm so sorry. I just don't know..."
"It's okay. You can tell me when you're ready." He reached out to her, intending to comfort her.
"Don't touch me! Oh my gods, Solciro, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap like that... Just... don't touch me..."
"Okay, okay, I get it. I'll stay away."
"No, I mean, don't have any physical tactile contact with me. Don't stay away... I'm sorry..." She seemed on the verge of crying.
"Okay. Don't cry, Lethe. It pains me to see you like this. It's okay. Don't say anymore."
She let out a shuddering sigh and breathed deeply.
"I will tell you the reason why, Solciro. But not now. I.. don't think I would be able to speak properly. But... do you.. you know.. love me?" The words came out on an impulse and she mentally slapped herself. Think before you talk, damn it!
"Love you?" Solciro paused. "Yes. Truly and without a doubt. Utterly and completely. Yes, I do love you. We've been spending a whole lot of time together and I've fallen for you." His words were positively saturated with honesty and she smiled. She didn't really expect such an answer but was pleased nonetheless.
"Then, our feelings are mutual. Honestly, I never really thought I would love an elf."
He grinned. "What, not even such a handsome and dashing elf such as I?"
"You? Dashing? Handsome? Funny joke there." She retorted.
"What are you two doing here, grinning like star-struck, moon-addled, love-sick fools for? I thought I told you two to go!" The matron had just came outside and caught sight of them.
Still smiling, hand in gloved hand, they ran off.
The Depressing Not-So-Welcome Welcome Note
While reading this page, you might get offended, confused or simply wondering why you are on this page. I urge you to just read the stories and review, only and only if you can review constructively or you can give helpful suggestions.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
The Letters #6
I leave this on one of my hundred coffins and hope,
My poisoned arrows find you well.
It has been a long time since I have seen your face,
And I have only your mask to remember you by.
Will you not take it off for a moment,
And succumb to the deadly gas?
They say love is a battlefield,
Truer words have never been spoken.
Though there are only two trying to kill.
-November
My poisoned arrows find you well.
It has been a long time since I have seen your face,
And I have only your mask to remember you by.
Will you not take it off for a moment,
And succumb to the deadly gas?
They say love is a battlefield,
Truer words have never been spoken.
Though there are only two trying to kill.
-November
Friday, December 10, 2010
They're Everywhere!
The Aesiflay mansion was opulent, though not overly extravagant, suiting Raewyn's tastes. The interior was somewhat bleak for such a structure, though it was already very magnificent by regular standards. Four stories up, it used to have many more levels but the overly redundant floors had been demolished long ago.
There were many rooms within the mansion, though Raewyn had never bothered to count them, only claiming one as her room and letting the rest of the rooms be open to the tenders and keepers of the house.
After returning home, Raewyn had moved a tall mirror into her room, the mirror taking practically no space considering the size of the room. Her clothes, Aida and Utrennyaya were strewn in an undignified manner over her bed as she stared into the mirror. She remembered her smooth, unmarked and beautiful body, the object of several classmates' desire and envy. As she looked, the horror of the first shock slowly wore off, but her fear remained. What was it, this weird thing?
Her once unblemished body had furious red scales just below her right collarbone. Where a dragon's scales were proud, dignified and beautiful, these seemed sickly and unnatural, a cursed growth on her skin. And the taint was spreading. When she had first seen it, it was a small patch below the collarbone but now, the scales covered the entire area around the bottom of the right collarbone and was just reaching towards her shoulder and the top of her breast. She raised a hand and felt the scales. They were coarse and had an oily feel to it. A feel that was very familiar to her.
"Libys. What have you done?"
I did nothing. The presence of me as your skin only gave you that oily sheen all over. I did not do anything to cause those scales. In fact, thus far I have been stopping it from even happening. How it happened, I do not know. The why would be due to our bonding, but I have always managed to control it before. I am doing my best to limit it, though it will eventually cover you.
As far as I know, it started growing shortly after I bonded with you. I did not cause it, nor do I know what part of me would cause it.
"Damn you, Libys."
I already am.Ignoring his comment, she traced the outline of the blotch, fingers quivering ever so slightly.
Raewyn, I suspect that it could be due to the fact that the filthy demon and I are opposites, such presences could cause a lack of control on the hellspawn's part, though it would be accidental.See now, even the self-righteous sword knows that I'm faultless."Is there any way to remove this... this thing?"
I doubt so. It would involve removing one of us, and removing the accursed demon would result in your body's destruction while removing I would facilitate a fragmentation of your mind.Raewyn lay down on her bed. She closed her eyes and thought. Given time, the taint would cover all of her, turning her into some sort of monster and her demoniac association would be revealed to all with eyes to see. She would be set apart, never able to move about freely. The Fang might even be called in to put her down if she was to be seen as such, the public mistaking her for a demon outright. There was no way that she would be able to do anything without being feared and hated.
And would that be such a bad thing? Feared, I mean, not hated."How would I be able to get any information or anything? You wouldn't give the right information to someone you hate, you'd try to mislead them."
But they'd fear you and you wouldn't risk your life to hurt them somehow."Unless the hate is stronger than the fear."
Aight. Point taken."Is there nothing that can be done?" Her frustration, with just a slight tinge of fear, was palpable and seemed to radiate off her in rolling waves, if anyone was there to witness it.
No. Aida's voice was blunt and straightforward, somewhat reminding Raewyn of herself. There is little either of us could do, save for the hellish beast's attempts to limit and slow it down. And that is of little, gods willing and luck prevailing, use.Raewyn sighed. "I'll just have to cross that bridge when I get to it." She muttered under her breath. "I'm sure there are bound to be some avenues of magic that can help. I should probably sleep. But right now, I've got other things to do."
She picked up a small slip of paper on her table and read it. "Right. November Upyr. Great. She wants me to play errand girl to get some wild herbs in a beast-infested region. Bloody alchemists. Wait a minute, isn't Upyr... That bitch. Can't believe I forgot all that."
She dressed herself in her tailored leather armour and, taking her weapons in each hand, stood outside on the balcony, watching the brilliant, melancholic sunset.
"Another day gone, another night comes."
Putting a foot on the railings, she jumped off the balcony and landed softly on the ground.
"An old friend to find."
One of the mansion's gardeners looked above from below the brim of his hat and observed as his employer leaped off from the fourth floor, hair flowing behind her, looking quite like the sight of some warrior woman from the old myth stories. A set of bright blue eyes radiated from his face and suddenly and rapidly went through the colour spectrum, from blue to red, red to yellow, yellow to green and finally back to the icy blue it first seemed. The features went through similar transformations through the various subtleties and gradations that only skin could have but each feature ended up back as they were. He tipped his hat to her and went back to work.
"Good luck, Raewyn." said Alice Arias.
There were many rooms within the mansion, though Raewyn had never bothered to count them, only claiming one as her room and letting the rest of the rooms be open to the tenders and keepers of the house.
After returning home, Raewyn had moved a tall mirror into her room, the mirror taking practically no space considering the size of the room. Her clothes, Aida and Utrennyaya were strewn in an undignified manner over her bed as she stared into the mirror. She remembered her smooth, unmarked and beautiful body, the object of several classmates' desire and envy. As she looked, the horror of the first shock slowly wore off, but her fear remained. What was it, this weird thing?
Her once unblemished body had furious red scales just below her right collarbone. Where a dragon's scales were proud, dignified and beautiful, these seemed sickly and unnatural, a cursed growth on her skin. And the taint was spreading. When she had first seen it, it was a small patch below the collarbone but now, the scales covered the entire area around the bottom of the right collarbone and was just reaching towards her shoulder and the top of her breast. She raised a hand and felt the scales. They were coarse and had an oily feel to it. A feel that was very familiar to her.
"Libys. What have you done?"
I did nothing. The presence of me as your skin only gave you that oily sheen all over. I did not do anything to cause those scales. In fact, thus far I have been stopping it from even happening. How it happened, I do not know. The why would be due to our bonding, but I have always managed to control it before. I am doing my best to limit it, though it will eventually cover you.
As far as I know, it started growing shortly after I bonded with you. I did not cause it, nor do I know what part of me would cause it.
"Damn you, Libys."
I already am.Ignoring his comment, she traced the outline of the blotch, fingers quivering ever so slightly.
Raewyn, I suspect that it could be due to the fact that the filthy demon and I are opposites, such presences could cause a lack of control on the hellspawn's part, though it would be accidental.See now, even the self-righteous sword knows that I'm faultless."Is there any way to remove this... this thing?"
I doubt so. It would involve removing one of us, and removing the accursed demon would result in your body's destruction while removing I would facilitate a fragmentation of your mind.Raewyn lay down on her bed. She closed her eyes and thought. Given time, the taint would cover all of her, turning her into some sort of monster and her demoniac association would be revealed to all with eyes to see. She would be set apart, never able to move about freely. The Fang might even be called in to put her down if she was to be seen as such, the public mistaking her for a demon outright. There was no way that she would be able to do anything without being feared and hated.
And would that be such a bad thing? Feared, I mean, not hated."How would I be able to get any information or anything? You wouldn't give the right information to someone you hate, you'd try to mislead them."
But they'd fear you and you wouldn't risk your life to hurt them somehow."Unless the hate is stronger than the fear."
Aight. Point taken."Is there nothing that can be done?" Her frustration, with just a slight tinge of fear, was palpable and seemed to radiate off her in rolling waves, if anyone was there to witness it.
No. Aida's voice was blunt and straightforward, somewhat reminding Raewyn of herself. There is little either of us could do, save for the hellish beast's attempts to limit and slow it down. And that is of little, gods willing and luck prevailing, use.Raewyn sighed. "I'll just have to cross that bridge when I get to it." She muttered under her breath. "I'm sure there are bound to be some avenues of magic that can help. I should probably sleep. But right now, I've got other things to do."
She picked up a small slip of paper on her table and read it. "Right. November Upyr. Great. She wants me to play errand girl to get some wild herbs in a beast-infested region. Bloody alchemists. Wait a minute, isn't Upyr... That bitch. Can't believe I forgot all that."
She dressed herself in her tailored leather armour and, taking her weapons in each hand, stood outside on the balcony, watching the brilliant, melancholic sunset.
"Another day gone, another night comes."
Putting a foot on the railings, she jumped off the balcony and landed softly on the ground.
"An old friend to find."
One of the mansion's gardeners looked above from below the brim of his hat and observed as his employer leaped off from the fourth floor, hair flowing behind her, looking quite like the sight of some warrior woman from the old myth stories. A set of bright blue eyes radiated from his face and suddenly and rapidly went through the colour spectrum, from blue to red, red to yellow, yellow to green and finally back to the icy blue it first seemed. The features went through similar transformations through the various subtleties and gradations that only skin could have but each feature ended up back as they were. He tipped his hat to her and went back to work.
"Good luck, Raewyn." said Alice Arias.
Friday, December 3, 2010
What were you Aspecting?
"Aspecting."
"What?"
"Aspecting." Styx repeated. "At least, that's what I call it at any rate. I don't know the proper term for it, or if there is even a proper term for it."
"So what is that anyway?"
"It's easier to show you."
"You're gonna do this... 'Aspecting' now? In front of everyone?"
"No, what are you, an idiot?"
"He's one, born and bred."
"Up yours, Amnesia."
"Warm it up, Iceman, I'm sure Kestrel prefers it nice and hot and would appreciate it more than I."
"Shut up, sweetheart. So Styx, how are you going to show us?" Kestrel asked, somewhat annoyed.
"Well, duh. Through memories, what else?"
"Like calls to like, idots are drawn to idiots, no wonder Kestrel loves Iceman so much."
"Shut. Up." Cocytus and Kestrel said at the same time.
"Okay, okay." Holding up her gloved hands in mock defeat, she gave a patronising and, to Kestrel and Cocytus, deeply irritating smile.
"Alright, it's probably not going to be perfect or anything. Memories are unreliable on the whole."
"Do we have to join our hands and contact the spir- Okay, okay, I won't say anything." A glare from Styx silenced Lethe.
Flash
Look around. Nobody looking. Close my eyes and concentrate. Ground myself. I will not drift. I focus on a concept and visualise. I see myself in my mind's eye. I see myself and I extend my consciousness towards the mental image. I feel myself, feel my own mind. I feel its seams, the boundaries, the borders of my entire mind, the integration of all the various personas and parts of me merging together, as it is in everybody's minds. And I sift through the parts of me, rather than the total, and I search. I find that small part of me, the hidden and unknown part of me that is murderous and vile and full of mindless violence. I visualise hands, strong and powerful hands, reaching out and pulling on it, dragging it out. A headache comes, painful and pulsing in time with my mental exertions. I lose my focus and open my eyes. The pain ebbs away.
Flash
Darkness. Lying on my soft bed. Concentrate and let the same feelings as before wash over me. Visualise, and the images come faster now, easier to hold, the result of hours of practice. I pull again, tug at myself and the pain comes. I am prepared for it and it does not ruin my concentration as before. The pain intensifies as I increase my efforts and slowly, but surely, I feel a lessening of resistance, and the pain starts to weaken. I give a few final tugs and it gives way. I have pulled a part of me out. I visualise that bit of me in front of me and I open my eyes. I am in front of myself. I see myself, looking feral and cruel and base, half-standing on my bed, the image in the manner of a ghost. I speak to it, but all I hear is just growling, and I remember that this is the part of me that is uncivilised and wild. I sense what it wants, that it wants to rip and gnash and tear at the flesh of my enemies. And I fear. I fear the parts of me, these lesser known bits of myself that are hateful to all that I believe in. What if they break free and be as the dominant part of me? And I look at it, not daring to breathe, and it speaks to me. Not by voice, but in my head, I feel its intentions and it calms me, though only slightly. It, no, I, has no wish to be completely unleashed, to be feral, only against those that I hate or am furious to. I understand. Every part of me, regardless of what it is, understands. Cohesion and cooperation, lest the whole be destroyed. The actions of each affect the whole. But I still fear. What if it lies to me? And I realise that it sounds ridiculous, me lying to myself. But I fear.
Flash
The practice room. The combat dummy is inactive, for those who wish to practise movements against it. Against regulations, I had locked the door, effectively hogging the room. Not that anyone was outside or waiting. I face the dummy. And I concentrate, as before. I pull the feral side of me out, the pain becoming more bearable with every attempt. It is almost effortless. But it isn't and I start to sweat. The Feral part understands what I try to do. And this time, I go further. I focus on the Feral and imagine. I sweat even more and the headache is as bad as when I first started. But I open my eyes and I see that it appears to be working. The Feral stands in front of me, almost identical to me save for its behaviour. It stands hunch-backed and I show it what I am trying. It snarls, menacing and I almost step back, and it lopes towards the dummy on all four limbs. And it attacks and I know that I have been successful. I stop focusing the Feral on being corporeal and I slump to the floor and sigh with relief from the incredible strain. I pant on the floor as if I had just finished an intense session. And I stand up shakily. And try again. But... This time, the dummy is active. As I focus, it grabs a spear and looks towards me. I place the Feral in front of me just as the dummy throws it like a javelin. I try not to give in to instinct and dodge while trying to maintain the Feral. My concentration breaks. I see the Feral dissipate just as the spear goes through it and my refusal to dodge leaves me immobile. The spear flies straight and true and hits my arm. Pain, incredible amounts of pain. A small portion of my brain knows that the dummy has deactivated. The rest screams in agony. Light-headed. Dizzy. Reach out. In mind and body. I call to my friends and I crawl slowly with one arm towards the door. I manage to make it into the corridor somehow. I lie against the wall and call out mentally...
"And that's when I called to you all."
"But... Something doesn't add up. Where did all the other cuts come from then?"
"I don't know. I assume it was from crawling along the floor. You do know that the floor is helluva rough."
"I don't know, sounds rather sketchy to me..."
"Never mind. This Aspecting... what do you plan to do with it?"
"I don't know. But I can imagine situations where they would be useful."
"So you can only pull one out at a time?"
"No. I can pull several at a time out, but so far the pain of concentrating limits me to only manifesting one at a time."
"Stunning. Don't push yourself too hard. And tell us when you're gonna attempt it again, no way I'm going to let you faint or something."
"Oh don't worry, Acherus, I'll be fine."
"Famous last words. And it's a point of healers' pride to not let your friends suffer from such mundane stuff."
"So you're perfectly fine with me getting hurt as long as its an exotic form of hurt?'
"Hey, I never said that."
"What?"
"Aspecting." Styx repeated. "At least, that's what I call it at any rate. I don't know the proper term for it, or if there is even a proper term for it."
"So what is that anyway?"
"It's easier to show you."
"You're gonna do this... 'Aspecting' now? In front of everyone?"
"No, what are you, an idiot?"
"He's one, born and bred."
"Up yours, Amnesia."
"Warm it up, Iceman, I'm sure Kestrel prefers it nice and hot and would appreciate it more than I."
"Shut up, sweetheart. So Styx, how are you going to show us?" Kestrel asked, somewhat annoyed.
"Well, duh. Through memories, what else?"
"Like calls to like, idots are drawn to idiots, no wonder Kestrel loves Iceman so much."
"Shut. Up." Cocytus and Kestrel said at the same time.
"Okay, okay." Holding up her gloved hands in mock defeat, she gave a patronising and, to Kestrel and Cocytus, deeply irritating smile.
"Alright, it's probably not going to be perfect or anything. Memories are unreliable on the whole."
"Do we have to join our hands and contact the spir- Okay, okay, I won't say anything." A glare from Styx silenced Lethe.
Flash
Look around. Nobody looking. Close my eyes and concentrate. Ground myself. I will not drift. I focus on a concept and visualise. I see myself in my mind's eye. I see myself and I extend my consciousness towards the mental image. I feel myself, feel my own mind. I feel its seams, the boundaries, the borders of my entire mind, the integration of all the various personas and parts of me merging together, as it is in everybody's minds. And I sift through the parts of me, rather than the total, and I search. I find that small part of me, the hidden and unknown part of me that is murderous and vile and full of mindless violence. I visualise hands, strong and powerful hands, reaching out and pulling on it, dragging it out. A headache comes, painful and pulsing in time with my mental exertions. I lose my focus and open my eyes. The pain ebbs away.
Flash
Darkness. Lying on my soft bed. Concentrate and let the same feelings as before wash over me. Visualise, and the images come faster now, easier to hold, the result of hours of practice. I pull again, tug at myself and the pain comes. I am prepared for it and it does not ruin my concentration as before. The pain intensifies as I increase my efforts and slowly, but surely, I feel a lessening of resistance, and the pain starts to weaken. I give a few final tugs and it gives way. I have pulled a part of me out. I visualise that bit of me in front of me and I open my eyes. I am in front of myself. I see myself, looking feral and cruel and base, half-standing on my bed, the image in the manner of a ghost. I speak to it, but all I hear is just growling, and I remember that this is the part of me that is uncivilised and wild. I sense what it wants, that it wants to rip and gnash and tear at the flesh of my enemies. And I fear. I fear the parts of me, these lesser known bits of myself that are hateful to all that I believe in. What if they break free and be as the dominant part of me? And I look at it, not daring to breathe, and it speaks to me. Not by voice, but in my head, I feel its intentions and it calms me, though only slightly. It, no, I, has no wish to be completely unleashed, to be feral, only against those that I hate or am furious to. I understand. Every part of me, regardless of what it is, understands. Cohesion and cooperation, lest the whole be destroyed. The actions of each affect the whole. But I still fear. What if it lies to me? And I realise that it sounds ridiculous, me lying to myself. But I fear.
Flash
The practice room. The combat dummy is inactive, for those who wish to practise movements against it. Against regulations, I had locked the door, effectively hogging the room. Not that anyone was outside or waiting. I face the dummy. And I concentrate, as before. I pull the feral side of me out, the pain becoming more bearable with every attempt. It is almost effortless. But it isn't and I start to sweat. The Feral part understands what I try to do. And this time, I go further. I focus on the Feral and imagine. I sweat even more and the headache is as bad as when I first started. But I open my eyes and I see that it appears to be working. The Feral stands in front of me, almost identical to me save for its behaviour. It stands hunch-backed and I show it what I am trying. It snarls, menacing and I almost step back, and it lopes towards the dummy on all four limbs. And it attacks and I know that I have been successful. I stop focusing the Feral on being corporeal and I slump to the floor and sigh with relief from the incredible strain. I pant on the floor as if I had just finished an intense session. And I stand up shakily. And try again. But... This time, the dummy is active. As I focus, it grabs a spear and looks towards me. I place the Feral in front of me just as the dummy throws it like a javelin. I try not to give in to instinct and dodge while trying to maintain the Feral. My concentration breaks. I see the Feral dissipate just as the spear goes through it and my refusal to dodge leaves me immobile. The spear flies straight and true and hits my arm. Pain, incredible amounts of pain. A small portion of my brain knows that the dummy has deactivated. The rest screams in agony. Light-headed. Dizzy. Reach out. In mind and body. I call to my friends and I crawl slowly with one arm towards the door. I manage to make it into the corridor somehow. I lie against the wall and call out mentally...
"And that's when I called to you all."
"But... Something doesn't add up. Where did all the other cuts come from then?"
"I don't know. I assume it was from crawling along the floor. You do know that the floor is helluva rough."
"I don't know, sounds rather sketchy to me..."
"Never mind. This Aspecting... what do you plan to do with it?"
"I don't know. But I can imagine situations where they would be useful."
"So you can only pull one out at a time?"
"No. I can pull several at a time out, but so far the pain of concentrating limits me to only manifesting one at a time."
"Stunning. Don't push yourself too hard. And tell us when you're gonna attempt it again, no way I'm going to let you faint or something."
"Oh don't worry, Acherus, I'll be fine."
"Famous last words. And it's a point of healers' pride to not let your friends suffer from such mundane stuff."
"So you're perfectly fine with me getting hurt as long as its an exotic form of hurt?'
"Hey, I never said that."
Thursday, December 2, 2010
The Letters #5
I glimpsed you today, sweet November,
And your etheral beauty set my mind aflame once more.
I forgot your attractions before, but now,
I am powerless to resist your charms.
How is it that you look as beautiful as you did in life,
If not more, as in this perverse, horrific existence?
My passion is awakened and I long for you.
Rest assured however,
My knife is sharp and long prepared.
-Calm, with love and longing.
And your etheral beauty set my mind aflame once more.
I forgot your attractions before, but now,
I am powerless to resist your charms.
How is it that you look as beautiful as you did in life,
If not more, as in this perverse, horrific existence?
My passion is awakened and I long for you.
Rest assured however,
My knife is sharp and long prepared.
-Calm, with love and longing.
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