What were you Aspecting?

"Aspecting."
"What?"
"Aspecting." Styx repeated. "At least, that's what I call it at any rate. I don't know the proper term for it, or if there is even a proper term for it."
"So what is that anyway?"
"It's easier to show you."
"You're gonna do this... 'Aspecting' now? In front of everyone?"
"No, what are you, an idiot?"
"He's one, born and bred."
"Up yours, Amnesia."
"Warm it up, Iceman, I'm sure Kestrel prefers it nice and hot and would appreciate it more than I."
"Shut up, sweetheart. So Styx, how are you going to show us?" Kestrel asked, somewhat annoyed.
"Well, duh. Through memories, what else?"
"Like calls to like, idots are drawn to idiots, no wonder Kestrel loves Iceman so much."
"Shut. Up." Cocytus and Kestrel said at the same time.
"Okay, okay." Holding up her gloved hands in mock defeat, she gave a patronising and, to Kestrel and Cocytus, deeply irritating smile.
"Alright, it's probably not going to be perfect or anything. Memories are unreliable on the whole."
"Do we have to join our hands and contact the spir- Okay, okay, I won't say anything." A glare from Styx silenced Lethe.

Flash
Look around. Nobody looking. Close my eyes and concentrate. Ground myself. I will not drift. I focus on a concept and visualise. I see myself in my mind's eye. I see myself and I extend my consciousness towards the mental image. I feel myself, feel my own mind. I feel its seams, the boundaries, the borders of my entire mind, the integration of all the various personas and parts of me merging together, as it is in everybody's minds. And I sift through the parts of me, rather than the total, and I search. I find that small part of me, the hidden and unknown part of me that is murderous and vile and full of mindless violence. I visualise hands, strong and powerful hands, reaching out and pulling on it, dragging it out. A headache comes, painful and pulsing in time with my mental exertions. I lose my focus and open my eyes. The pain ebbs away.
Flash
Darkness. Lying on my soft bed. Concentrate and let the same feelings as before wash over me. Visualise, and the images come faster now, easier to hold, the result of hours of practice. I pull again, tug at myself and the pain comes. I am prepared for it and it does not ruin my concentration as before. The pain intensifies as I increase my efforts and slowly, but surely, I feel a lessening of resistance, and the pain starts to weaken. I give a few final tugs and it gives way. I have pulled a part of me out. I visualise that bit of me in front of me and I open my eyes. I am in front of myself. I see myself, looking feral and cruel and base, half-standing on my bed, the image in the manner of a ghost. I speak to it, but all I hear is just growling, and I remember that this is the part of me that is uncivilised and wild. I sense what it wants, that it wants to rip and gnash and tear at the flesh of my enemies. And I fear. I fear the parts of me, these lesser known bits of myself that are hateful to all that I believe in. What if they break free and be as the dominant part of me? And I look at it, not daring to breathe, and it speaks to me. Not by voice, but in my head, I feel its intentions and it calms me, though only slightly. It, no, I, has no wish to be completely unleashed, to be feral, only against those that I hate or am furious to. I understand. Every part of me, regardless of what it is, understands. Cohesion and cooperation, lest the whole be destroyed. The actions of each affect the whole. But I still fear. What if it lies to me? And I realise that it sounds ridiculous, me lying to myself. But I fear.

Flash
The practice room. The combat dummy is inactive, for those who wish to practise movements against it. Against regulations, I had locked the door, effectively hogging the room. Not that anyone was outside or waiting. I face the dummy. And I concentrate, as before. I pull the feral side of me out, the pain becoming more bearable with every attempt. It is almost effortless. But it isn't and I start to sweat. The Feral part understands what I try to do. And this time, I go further. I focus on the Feral and imagine. I sweat even more and the headache is as bad as when I first started. But I open my eyes and I see that it appears to be working. The Feral stands in front of me, almost identical to me save for its behaviour. It stands hunch-backed and I show it what I am trying. It snarls, menacing and I almost step back, and it lopes towards the dummy on all four limbs. And it attacks and I know that I have been successful. I stop focusing the Feral on being corporeal and I slump to the floor and sigh with relief from the incredible strain. I pant on the floor as if I had just finished an intense session. And I stand up shakily. And try again. But... This time, the dummy is active. As I focus, it grabs a spear and looks towards me. I place the Feral in front of me just as the dummy throws it like a javelin. I try not to give in to instinct and dodge while trying to maintain the Feral. My concentration breaks. I see the Feral dissipate just as the spear goes through it and my refusal to dodge leaves me immobile. The spear flies straight and true and hits my arm. Pain, incredible amounts of pain. A small portion of my brain knows that the dummy has deactivated. The rest screams in agony. Light-headed. Dizzy. Reach out. In mind and body. I call to my friends and I crawl slowly with one arm towards the door. I manage to make it into the corridor somehow. I lie against the wall and call out mentally...

"And that's when I called to you all."
"But... Something doesn't add up. Where did all the other cuts come from then?"
"I don't know. I assume it was from crawling along the floor. You do know that the floor is helluva rough."
"I don't know, sounds rather sketchy to me..."
"Never mind. This Aspecting... what do you plan to do with it?"
"I don't know. But I can imagine situations where they would be useful."
"So you can only pull one out at a time?"
"No. I can pull several at a time out, but so far the pain of concentrating limits me to only manifesting one at a time."
"Stunning. Don't push yourself too hard. And tell us when you're gonna attempt it again, no way I'm going to let you faint or something."
"Oh don't worry, Acherus, I'll be fine."
"Famous last words. And it's a point of healers' pride to not let your friends suffer from such mundane stuff."
"So you're perfectly fine with me getting hurt as long as its an exotic form of hurt?'
"Hey, I never said that."