Merry Riskmas!

Karasondrias tossed a couple of coins to Alice along with a knife. She caught them deftly and placed the coins on the plate with the knife by the side on the table.
"Where's the offering?"
"I thought that Lethe and the others were bringing it!"
"Well, I thought you had it! If we miss the time, that's it for us."
The door swung open and Phlegyas came through first followed by the others.
"You guys! Where's the offering?"
"Offering? I thought we were going to the bakery."
"Great. So just who exactly has it?"
"Has what? We've got the scones." Cocytus said blankly.
"Not scones! The offering!"
"Oh. That. November's bringing it." Solciro said.
"No, she isn't. She's bringing the candles. I hope she remembered that its specifically gold candles. So who's got the offering?"
"Maybe Mr Ary?" Lethe suggested.
"Oh for the love of the Archon, I'd never trust that bumbling fool to- Why are all of you staring at me like that?" They kept quiet. Karasondrias sighed and continued. "He's behind me, isn't he."
"Merry Riskmas to you too, woman. It's fine, keep criticising me. Why've you stopped?"
"Anyway. Did you bring the offering?"
"No."
"Who else isn't here yet?"
"Delirious. No point counting on him. Uo can't make it. Raewyn!" Kara exclaimed just as the door opened to reveal the three missing parties.
"Merry Riskmas, people."
"Where's the offering? Oh, and Nova, where's the gold candles?"
"No offering, but here's the candles."
Karasondrias uttered an oath. Just as they made to shut the door, a murder of crows flocked in and formed into Lacier.
"Hiyo. Merry Riskmas. I'm not late, am I?"
Mr Ary turned to Lethe.
"Hey, guess what."
"Hmm?"
"I am your father." And he stabbed Morinth in the chest and left the kitchen knife there. It didn't matter. He was dead after all.
"Wait, what? I thought you were my brother!"
"Did someone declare himself as being gay?"
Acheros suddenly flew through a window with a large turkey tied to a string behind him and he haphazardly flew into the room. The turkey landed on the plate in between the two coins and Karasondrias quickly lifted up the knife and sliced into the turkey.
"Merry Riskmas! To Miss Fortune!"
At that point, CerebrateBen burst in with a bunch of bananas in hand, shouting "The cake! The cake! I bring the cake in banana form! Merry Christmas to all!"
And we all sing.

We wish you a Merry Riskmas,
We wish you a Merry Riskmas.
We wish you a Merry Riskmas,
Please don't flame me!

The End.

Note: This was written under the influence of minute amounts of alcohol :D It was vodka and Ribena (sp?) if I'm not wrong. Also, because I wasn't really paying attention to what I wrote. Also because I was rushing this. Anyway. NON-CANON, people! Merry Christmas!

Sub-Note: Please don't let this be any indication of what I write. This is kinda embarrassing. This is VERY lousy writing.

Sub-Sub-Note: To anyone who can write, do send me a message at iamben1@hotmail.com . Send me short stories or some such and I'll post it up here under a name of your choice. This blag requires moar writers!

Sub-Sub-Sub-Note: Once again, I apologise for the horrible lack of quality. Lousy punchline, I know, wasn't feeling punny enough.

Sub-Sub-Subbity Sub Note: Once January starts, I will have way less time to write. So don't expect the updates to be as frequent as now! That's all and Merry Christmas to all and also an early Happy New Year!

PS: And many thanks to all ye faithful readers! Now it's truly the end! Good luck and have fun!